“The joy of the Lord is my strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)
It is only in His strength that I am able to share with you today and say that I am a post abortive woman.
At the age of eighteen I aborted my child. In ignorance and self-centeredness, I committed this crime. With that came feelings of guilt, self-hatred, depression and a feeling of being unworthy in the sight of God. I knew after a while, and after rededicating my life to Christ, He had forgiven me, but in silence I still carried that heavy burden of guilt and shame. I placed myself in a self-imposed mental prison for over 30 years. To try to heal the pain and void I felt, I tried “self-help” books and talk therapy, but to no avail. Neither could heal the stress and emotional damage that that abortion had caused.
It was only through “Surrendering the Secret” Bible study that God was able to heal and remove the pain and loss I had suffered for those 30 plus years; a study that was emotionally safe and confidential. I entered that study feeling broken and defeated, but at the end of the 8-weeks emerged
victorious and with a warrior spirit in Christ.
As you know Satan thrives in secrecy and darkness to keep us captive, to weaken the body of Christ, but we as Christians, followers of Jesus Christ, we are to shine the light on it and call it out for what it is with love and truth.
I encourage anyone that has suffered the pain of an abortion, or knows of someone that has, to reach out to this healing ministry. God will replace the heartbreak and pain you carry with His healing balm and peace and release the chains of bondage it has created in your life.
And finally, one of my favorite scriptures: Revelations 12:11 “And they overcame him (Satan) by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony…”
“I had an abortion in Pittsburgh in 1978 when I was 22 years old. Every ounce of maternal instinct I was created with vanished the day they sucked my daughter’s life out of me. I walked out of that abortion clinic a hard, cynical, broken, wounded soul and didn’t even know it. I used drugs alcohol and the affections of men to fill the void it left inside of me. I developed an intense dislike for children, especially babies, and for years wondered what was wrong with me.
Today, I am 61 years old and childless because of the damaging effects it had on me. I carried this secret filled with fear, guilt, shame, and regret for over 38 years. In December of 2016, the Lord invited me to follow Him on a journey that would heal me and set me free.
I am an author and He gave me the ability to transform my healing journey into a book which is called Chloe’s Cry in honor of my aborted daughter, Chloe Renee. It is a powerful testimony of the love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness that is ours when we trust our healing process to Jesus who died to offer us healing and wholeness from our abortions.
I stand today without fear guilt shame and regret because He has healed me and set free. What the enemy meant for evil in Pittsburgh in 1978, the Lord is using to heal many from the damaging effects of their abortions forty years later!”
Restored Life, South Carolina
Potter’s Heart Ministry, Founder
“I was in high school, just a few months from graduating when I learned that I was pregnant. At the time I was being raised by a career-driven single-father and I knew I would disappoint him if I had a baby at that age. I saw abortion as an easy fix, necessary to move on with my life. So, I made the choice to kill my baby.
The experience was horrifying. That day I killed my child – I killed a part of me. I felt my soul had died and I became nothing but walking flesh. I felt my life was over. I built walls of silence around my heart to hide my secret. I felt alone, isolated, and unworthy of love. Over the next three years of college I became increasingly lonely, self-condemning and promiscuous, trying to fill the devastated emptiness. By graduation I was in an abusive relationship and pregnant. Again, I chose abortion. This led to an even deeper, darker self-hatred, loneliness, and depression.
BUT JESUS, He got a hold of me and graciously gave me the courage to face the truth of what I had done. He consoled me in my weakest and darkest moment. God led me to an abortion recovery Bible study and through this God transformed me. He used my classmates to love me enough to tell me the truth – both the truth of what I had done AND the truth of the forgiveness and freedom I have in Christ Jesus! Through this study I was able to see just how long, wide, high and deep His love is for me. HE loved me through the realization of the blood on my hands. HE loved me through the shame and guilt and His love set me free.
Abortion is NOT the unforgivable sin! God never stops loving you and loves you no less because of abortion. The Bible says, “God is no respecter of persons.” If He can heal, restore and set me free, know that He can do this for you, too!
Young Life, NYC
I had gone to church my whole life and knew that one day God wanted to use me as a missionary. Fast forward to age 25, and I was in an intimate relationship after only two months and found myself pregnant. God spoke to my heart that He would take care of me. But I lived 2-hours away from my boyfriend and away from my family, as well. He was in medical school, I had no insurance and his mother, who had an abortion in her youth, pressured me that this was the only solution. I was confused and scared and foolishly took her guidance. I knew better, but bought into the lie that it was just a blob of tissue, not a baby.
I regretted my abortion immediately. Sadness, despair, shame, guilt and anger set in. I felt separated from God. I was mad at myself, for trusting a person over having faith in what God has spoken to my heart. I lost my joy. I used alcohol to cope. That relationship ended. The unworthiness I felt in my heart led to other failed relationships.
But, in 2016, the Lord made a way for me to take Forgiven and Set Free abortion recovery study and I realized I am forgiven and set free! And now I’m on a mission to help set others free who have experienced abortion and I am silent no more!
At 24 years old I found myself in an unplanned pregnancy with my boyfriend. I was in a fast-paced career at the time, but felt as my boyfriend and I had talked about announcing our engagement in the next 6 months, that we could just move the wedding forward, no problem.
Shockingly, it soon became apparent that he wanted nothing to do with me or our baby. In a state of great stress and panic, I had an abortion. Here’s a bit about the lies of abortion. The clinic where I had the abortion was OWNED by a Presbyterian pastor, who also owned 2 MORE clinics.
I thought I was receiving “spiritual counseling” from this man, when in fact, all I was doing was setting myself up for many years of heartbreak while lining his pockets with blood money from my child. I was crushed. I kept being told by the clinic’s staff “It’s all about to be over.” Little did I know, in fact, it was all just about to begin.
Like a majority of post abortive men and women, I had many years of being emotionally wrecked. I experienced suicidal thoughts, bad choices, low self-worth, and emotional deadening.
14 years ago, my healing began as I took a class, Forgiven and Set Free, which poured God’s word and His love over my broken soul. I cried, and I cried, and I cried. I learned to lean into a supernatural love beyond anything I’d ever know and discovered a deep forgiveness that led me into the ministry of post abortive healing.
If you’re post abortive, man or women, now’s the time for you to be set free, too!! Through Restored life, we would love to help you get connected to a healing study!
Surrendering the Secret
I was 16 years old when I walked into that clinic. Wide-awake and petrified, I stared at the ceiling and tried to block out what was happening. I was told to lie still since they were using sharp instruments – one slight move and I could bleed to death. As terrifying as this was, I was more afraid to go home and tell my mother I was pregnant. I just prayed for it to be over and I could get on with my life.
After my abortion, I got heavily into drugs and the bright future I aborted my child for got derailed. It would be many years before I would overcome my addiction and change my risky behavior. About 25 years ago, someone introduced me to Jesus and told me His grace could wash me clean. My life changed overnight but my heart was still filled with shame and regret. What if others knew what I was really like and about the ugly things I had done? Surely, they wouldn’t want anything to do with me.
One day a woman in my church needed post-abortion counseling so I looked online for something to try to help her. I came across the Healing Hearts bible study and my plan was to print it out to minister to her since I was ok with my abortion. Well, I actually had to go through the study myself and realized I was very far from “ok”!! The abortion that I had swept under the rug for so many years was a catalyst for my shame and my bad behavior in my younger years and was affecting my relationships so many years later!
As I continued with the study, layers of shame and guilt were lifted from me and I now saw myself as a “new creation”….truly washed by the Blood of the Lamb!! And it wasn’t just my abortion that came to light, but many other things the Lord healed me of. I no longer sit in church feeling like I’m “less than” anyone else. I know who I am. I am someone who chose to have an abortion and has been forgiven and is free from her guilt and shame. It is my privilege today to minister to other women who are bound by their sin and helping them to see there is freedom in Christ….for everyone!!
For more information on what God used to change my life, please visit HealingHearts.org.
Healing Hearts Ministries, Intl.
Director of North East U.S. Region
I am so thankful for God’s mercy and grace. Growing up my family went to church every time the doors were opened. I was a straight A Christian high school student who had been inducted into the National Honor Society and Who’s who among American High school students. I even graduated from a Christian University and was considered a great example of what a “good Christian girl” was. After an abusive and tumultuous marriage ended in my early twenties, I was left a divorced single parent of two precious boys. After several years of single parenting, I began being pursued by a “knight in shining armor” which I thought I so needed at that time in my life. After a year or so of dating, I found myself unmarried and pregnant. The father of the baby said we could not have another child. My thoughts were that I would once again be left to raise this baby on my own. Being extremely sick, I was in fear that I would lose my job and the only means I had of taking care of my household. Thinking if I just had an abortion nobody would ever know so I would never have to worry about what people said about my unplanned pregnancy. That baby would have been graduating high school this year and hopefully, headed for college. Those are things I will never get to experience with them because I chose what I thought was easiest abortion. After almost 15 years of carrying the guilt and shame of that abortion, I searched for a way to heal and found a post abortive group at a local pregnancy support center. My healing began when a voice at the other end of a telephone line said, “Can I tell you my story?” I sobbed as I listening to her story of redemption, I felt the weight of guilt loosen and begin to fall away. I have never regretted reaching out to find my healing in Jesus Christ and forgiveness through His blood as I walked through a small group abortion recovery study. I am so thankful that Kim was brave enough to tell her story because God used her story to change my life. If you or a loved one has been affected by abortion, know that you are not alone. There is hope! We would love to connect and pray to help you on your healing journey.
It was the height of the sexual revolution, I was young and being influenced by culture – within 4 years I had 3 abortions. 50% of women having 1 abortion will have multiple. The abortion experience was horrific; dehumanizing really. No concern or compassion, herded in like cattle. My 20’s were filled with drugs, alcohol and men. I was out of control, desperate and running from God. In ‘91 I quit running, surrendered my life to Christ, repented of my sins and God began changing me! But the pain of abortion – that was hidden away very deeply. For years I felt dead inside; worthless; I struggled with depression, suicide thoughts, intense shame and anger. These are symptoms of Post-Abortion Trauma;
40% of post-abortive women struggle with this. In ‘96 I participated in a Bible study called Forgiven & Set Free. Through this study God brought about healing I didn’t know
I needed and a freedom I never thought possible. I’ve been walking in wholeness and freedom for over 20 years. What the enemy meant for my destruction God is using for good – for the saving of many lives. I’ve been privileged to lead many women along this healing journey and watched God perform miracles. There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus! Today could be your day – if you or someone you know wants more info regarding abortion recovery; please complete a contact inquiry here on our Website. We’d love to pray with you, answer your questions and help you connect with healing ministry.
Restored Life Rep., Charlotte, NC
I am a life that has been saved, healed and restored! Nothing has impacted my healing journey more than the abortion recovery Bible study I joined when I first moved to Charlotte.
God had given me a James 5:16 healing moment back in 1990 on Mother’s Day (of all days), when I had an opportunity to stand for “all” of my children; those living (fidgeting in the pew next to me) and acknowledging and confessing those I had lost to the sin of abortion. Fast forward 20 years and I was faced with having to take this study to be able to serve as a client advocate at the PRC of Charlotte. I thought I was healed and didn’t need a study.
As is common with many who have had an abortion, I did not realize that many of my personal struggles were related. I had no idea the depth of healing and restoration God had in store for me.
My abortion experience had been buried alive for so long.
I had been so deceived by the enemy. The study provided a safe place for me to share my abortion experience in a private, confidential setting. It had been 30+ years and it was the first time I had ever spoken of my experiences with anyone. When you’ve lived with the regret, guilt, shame and the devastation of abortion for so long, the damage is real.
Line upon line, layer by layer, the Holy Spirit and Word of God exposed the wounds in ways I never expected, and the Lord not only forgave me, but He healed me and began the process of restoring my soul. Once you’ve received such an extraordinary gift of healing and restoration, you can’t wait to share it with others! I continued on to train to become a facilitator and now have the joy and privilege of leading other women through the healing process. God wants us healed, restored, and full of His joy to live and serve Him out of a love for Christ, not in broken penance for our past.
If you or anyone you know has experienced abortion, click the connect tab above. We are here to help!
Restored Life, Founder